Blaue Reiter

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. . ."

www.flickr.com More of spartanjen!'s photos

 

Long Time. . .

Hey there - wow, it's been awhile since I've been here. . .

I am doing well - am in Moab, Utah for Thanksgiving weekend. It was a year, two days ago that Brent and I broke up. After many tears, apologies, and madness, we got back together last December, and have been getting happier by the day ever since. Pain makes me creative, happiness makes me lazy. I guess that's why I haven't been here in so long.

In the last year I have:

• improved my cooking even more - I love experimenting with Indian and Thai recipes.
• made an 8 ' painting - it's a loose replica of a famous Art Nouveau artwork. I'll post a picture of it later :)
• lost, then gained back 45 pounds on the HCG diet
• become a Mary Kay consultant : marykay.com/jmccoy94,  if you need to do any holiday shopping. . .
• found my lobster :) (You'd have to be a Friends fan to get that - Lobsters mate for life, apparently)
• become addicted to NCIS and Sons of Anarchy
• realized that I want to get out of teaching in the next few years - it's just become too depressing.

Hope anyone who reads this is staying warm (or cool!), sleeping well, and keeping stress to a minimum. . .

posted by: spartanjen at November 29, 2009 04:16 | link | comments |

Grocey Store Zen

I seem to exist in three phases right now - laughing, comatose, and functioning on autopilot. Well, four if you count shopping erratically. I was in the grocery store tonight shopping for dinner ~ I guess ~ and came out with edamame, vinegary bean dip, tostitos and frozen brussel sprouts. ?  I studied things in there that  before tonight, I wasn't even aware of.  As I wandered, I wondered odd, sad things like 

• where are all the powder package dips that you add sour cream to and *BAM*, they become yummy dip?
• why can't I find that cheesy artichoke dip that I had a gallery opening last month? It came in a plastic container, like the hummus ones, and was soooo goood people were actually drooling. . .
• why don't they keep the ice outside where it's *really* cold? (And then I immediately thought of all the times I just nicked it 'cuz it was outside. . . duh.)
• it's so very wrong that when I synced my i-pod with my library, I lost all the Mitch Hedberg comedy that I had on my i-pod. That made me i-rate...
• why am I still wandering around reading things, like there's gonna be a pop quiz?
• does the fish they use for fake crab really have nuclear orange skin? I didn't think it was a tropical fish. . .
• where's my eye candy that used to work the behind the counter at the deli that I would stalk but never speak to?
• did he realize he had a stalker?
• man, people stuff some yukky shit into olives. Blue cheese? Blecth. /~  Why would someone do that to a perfectly good olive? Unless, of course, they're trying to strengthen the anti-olive conspiracies. . .
• what is my angel-faced demon-doggy destroying at this moment while I read the entire grocery store?
• why doesn't he just call me and tell me this is all wrong, he understands exactly what I meant now and it all makes *perrrrfect sense* and he can't live without me??? (Not the dog, people. Keep up.)

posted by: spartanjen at December 01, 2008 23:51 | link | comments (4) |

I had a fortune cookie today  read  

"A new relationship is about to blossom. You will be blessed."

I set it on fire. Is that wrong?

posted by: spartanjen at November 30, 2008 22:53 | link | comments (2) |

Today's Horrorscope. . .

I'm used to things hurting. I went pro a long time ago at deflecting anything painful with humor or collecting obsessive phases as distractions. I'm trying not to whine, because like most people at least my age, I've been on both sides of the hurt. It's just that once again, I feel like I've always felt - like I'm an outsider looking in, who only falls for wrong or impossible people. I just wish there were a way to fast forward through this part of it. The post traumatic break up phase, where your brain knows everything's going to be fine, but your heart keeps sneaking up and sabotaging it. I woul like to lay old (but lethal), rusty bear traps to teach my idiotic, overdramatic heart a lesson, once and for all, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be covered by my insurance plan. Ha Ha. See what I mean? I can't help myself!

posted by: spartanjen at November 30, 2008 01:10 | link | comments (3) |

Until yesterday, I believed this was the one. I was stil getting used to the idea that there might actually be someone I could have a relationship with tha would outlast the milk in my fridge. . . For the past 2 1/2 months, we were amazing. Then yesterday, I found out how he actually feels about me. Actions speak a million times louder than words. I'm living the "if it's too good to be true. . ." nightmare, that I  hope will go away soon.

Any remedies on how to get over someone quickly and painlessly?

posted by: spartanjen at November 29, 2008 01:09 | link | comments (5) |

Casa de Jolly Ranch

Before. . .

In Progress. . .

After. . .

Painting the apex nearly killed me. It is quite a bit higher than it looks. There was an embarassingly long period of time between stages 2 and 3. . . and now, I am working on the most  brutal, should-have-known-better projects in my back yard. I now (much to my horror) know how to mix and cure concrete, the difference between mortar and concrete, and, most unamusingly, Why You Should Clean Up Excess Cement Immediately, and not wait.

Whatever doesn't kill me just makes me more annoyed. It's the stupidity that's making me stronger. . .

So, how are y'alls summers going?

posted by: spartanjen at August 03, 2008 19:55 | link | comments (8) |

Diary of a Mad Homeowner

• The tiller is my enemy. It makes the jackhammer look like my buddy.
• The things that live under the rocks cannot possibly be earth life forms.
• Fixing up old windows makes me willing to sell anything to be able to afford to just buy new ones.
• I'm an equal opportunity gardener - if it grows a flower, I like it. I don't care if it's officially classified as a weed. I get mocked for this.
• Dirt and gravel should only be moved once. Wherever it lands, that's it.
• No one I ask has the same opinion about anything. Therefore, I end up listening to myself way more than I should.
• My friend K turns into a superhero when having to back up a truck attached to a trailer. Her superhero name is 'exorcist', and I almost didn't reach minimum safe distance the other day when the transformation occured.
• There's a very good reason the top of the ladder says "This is not a Step", but the fact that it's an option is the problem.
• There is no such thing as a "Five Minute Fan". Don't fall for it!
• Dang near anything can be fixed with Gorilla glue and spackle. Mixing them together is even more amazing!
• The word "caulk" has to be said very carefully when asking for assistance.
• Ebola didn't originate in Lake Victoria, Africa- it was born and lives happily here at the SLC dump.
• My spiderlicious basement did not, in fact, kill me when I had to go down there.
• Almost anywhere in instructions where it says "drill a hole", you can substitute "bang the shit out of a screwdriver with a hammer"
• The two different screwdrivers have inappropriate boys names - they are not commonly referred to as "star" and "line"

posted by: spartanjen at May 28, 2008 23:12 | link | comments (6) |

What is it?

posted by: spartanjen at May 26, 2008 22:18 | link | comments (4) |

I love the rain, when I can curl up and watch it from the nestled comfort of a safe, warm space. Powerful memories live there, among the nesting instinct. The sound of rain hitting the roof instantly transports me to another time and place, with a nostalgic pull toward moments that can never be again, but were so powerful that each time they're summoned, they spring to life - an eternal afterlife of their own.

The rain inspires daydreams of being safe and cozy in a cave, wrapped in furry idle warmth. It is the ultimate comfort, watching the world turn greener, clearer. It washes away the haze and the glare, temporarily leaving a greener, clearer world.

However, being unfortunate enough to have to be out in it is a different story :)

posted by: spartanjen at May 26, 2008 07:05 | link | comments (2) |

Spring

The birds are singing, flowers are everywhere, and my muse is back :)))))). I thought I had lost him forever this time, and then BAM! there he is. But no longer Mic, now Tez? No matter who you've morphed into, damn glad to hear from you :)

Some things transcend time. And labels.

posted by: spartanjen at May 25, 2008 20:24 | link | comments (1) |